His Footprints, My Heart...

14 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/friend is taking
their sweet time:

1. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, '"Code three in house wares"......and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers
you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why
can't you people just leave me alone?'

8. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your
nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he
knows where the anti-depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme
from "Mission Impossible."

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different
size funnels.

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK
ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal
position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

And last but not least...

14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell
loudly "There is no toilet paper in here!"